The Secret to Understanding What Makes You Do That Thang You Do

Interpreting your experience is the way to circumvent feeling tossed around by life taking whatever comes along and just dealing with it. In creating successful life strategies one must be aware of one’s dreams and the role they play in the experience of everyday life. By integrating the dream with the business of life personal power is restored while the realization of dreams and goals flows into the practical experience of living increasing happiness and joy.

The premise for living big is to believe in our dreams and trust that we have the power as creators to bring those dreams down to earth and accomplish great things. We have a nature that lends it’s self to discovery through curiosity to know our purpose in life. As we act upon our dreams we discover clues to the answers of this question. The experiences we gain through our discovery shape the way we function in our lives. The nature of discovery is to uncover the unknown and causes us to experience fear or excitement, the basis for all ancillary feelings, which triggers thought and action.

Our society is filled with so much information from so many sources that unless we are actively thinking about the true risk of any given situation our mind filters that information through our fight or flight mind where our actions are based upon survival. Living big is living beyond survival through thoughtful action to reach goals successfully. Understanding the communication between ourselves and our world i the shortest distance to knowing how to modify our reality to align to our dreams, wishes, wants and desires. The four modes of functioning model is a powerful tool for interpreting and analyzing the feedback received throughout our experience.  Conscious use of the model increases understanding, personal power, and successful results.  The four modes of functioning are sensing, feeling, thinking and acting. Each mode of function operates in a constructive or destructive way.

To create SMASHing Life Strategies for 2012, use the Four Modes of Functioning model to interpret your experience.  Set a timer for three minutes, respond quickly, let answers sit for a few days and repeat, notice what changed, add images to your writing. Remember this is about the process not the product. Using the conscious and subconscious parts of your mind allows you to gain insight and enhance your experience. Allow each mind to express its self on the page without expectation to maximize your experience.

Observe through Sensing. Take a look at the nine areas of balance and for each one, ask;

1. What am I experiencing?
2. What do I Sense? See? Feel? Think/Hear? Taste? Smell?
3. Have I experienced this or something similar to this before?

Thinking Mode. Interpret the data.

1. What do I believe about this experience?
2. What do I judge about this experience?
3. What do I believe about myself?
4. What do I judge about myself?
5. What do I hold back from doing because I believe this?
6. Is what I believe true for all humankind?
7. What would happen if I did not believe this about myself?
8. What would be different if I didn’t believed this to be true?

Feeling Mode. Analyzing Cause of Action.

1. How does it feel to believe this?
2. What is the strongest emotion that I connect to this experience?
3. What would I feel if this thought never existed? Have I ever felt that way in the past? If not, what do I imagine that feeling to feel like?
4. Who would I be without_____?
5. What does my response to this even tell me about my true nature, or purpose?

Acting Mode. Applying What You Have Learned.

1. What have I learned?
2. How will I apply what I have learned?
3. What am I currently doing in this area?
4. What is working and not working?
5. What would be ideal? Have I experienced these results in the past? If not, what do I imagine ideal would be like?
6. What would I get out of living this ideal? What would it do for me?
7. What would it take to get a step closer to this ideal from where I am now?
8. What resources do I have to help me reach the ideal?

The Secret To Understanding How Your Dreams Can Give You The Edge in 2012!

December is a month of long night and shortened daylight hours.  The Winter Solstice is an ideal time to slow down and reflect on the year before moving into the holidays filled with celebrations of gratitude and abundance.  Reflection allows us to make peace with the past, gain clarity for the moment and build confidence in the future.  Taking a cue from Mother Nature, the extended hours of darkness, expand your dreams beyond limitation. Where dreams expand so does the heart, the mind and the soul making space for the new things we desire as the New Year approaches.

Mediation begins with listening to the noise that surrounds us and releasing it as easily as it comes. Begin reflective meditation by noticing all that is going on in the mind, allowing thoughts to come and go.  There may be thoughts that linger longer than others asking for more attention. There may be feelings in varying degrees of intensity that ride along with the thoughts. Notice all of that is connected to each thought or strings of thoughts.  You may choose to write them down at this time or simply take notice, however, be aware of the serendipitous nature of the process, desire for the whole self to explore, gather and sort the information into useful material.  

Using the process of exploration, gathering and sorting create a reflections page in your strategies journal (SMASH book) of those things that you found to be significant is similar to “kicking the tires” of your car before setting out on the road.  Becoming familiar with the quirks of a vehicle before you take a long trip, (or a short one), allows you to enjoy the ride by reducing perceived risk making the journey more enjoyable and less stressful. In life, understanding how you process events and sort information will help you to create objectives, strategies and tactics to meet your goals with greater success, less stress, and enjoy the journey.

As the mind becomes increasingly still there is a temptation to fill it with new thoughts. Take a moment to let the system rest and reach beyond your perceived limits to retrieve inspiration.  Listen to the breath of the body and the rhythm of the heart as your mind and body settles in and adjusts to the stillness.  Consider the quiet to be the gift of peace to the whole soul offering it with gratitude for a job well done. As inspiration reveals it’s self the imagination will expand it into a dream. Follow the dream and expand it in all directions until you reach the boundaries of the dream, and then push it out even more.  Experience the dream in as much detail as possible, interacting with the dream with all of the senses.  Deepening the experience sends the mind and body to the fringe of reality where it will return with endless possibilities from which to realize the potential of the dream. Record this information in your strategies journal in vivid detail.

Sort the information you have brought back from the dream into categories, such as;

1. Center/ Spirituality/ Self
2. Partnerships/Love
3. Creations/ Children/Homemaking
4. Travel/ Service/ Declarations
5. Work/ Career/ Activity
6. Information/ Knowledge/ Self-Cultivation/ Culture
7. Health/ Money/ Traditions/ Habits
8. Wealth/ Abundance/ Distribution/ Growth
9. Personal Power/ Security/ Longevity/ Integrity. 

This is a springboard list to identify objectives, build strategies and implement tactics that will move you to realize the dream. 

 

The Secret To Understanding How Your Dreams Can Give You The Edge in 2012!

December is a month of long night and shortened daylight hours.  The Winter Solstice is an ideal time to slow down and reflect on the year before moving into the holidays filled with celebrations of gratitude and abundance.  Reflection allows us to make peace with the past, gain clarity for the moment and build confidence in the future.  Taking a cue from Mother Nature, the extended hours of darkness, expand your dreams beyond limitation. Where dreams expand so does the heart, the mind and the soul making space for the new things we desire as the New Year approaches.

Mediation begins with listening to the noise that surrounds us and releasing it as easily as it comes. Begin reflective meditation by noticing all that is going on in the mind, allowing thoughts to come and go.  There may be thoughts that linger longer than others asking for more attention. There may be feelings in varying degrees of intensity that ride along with the thoughts. Notice all of that is connected to each thought or strings of thoughts.  You may choose to write them down at this time or simply take notice, however, be aware of the serendipitous nature of the process, desire for the whole self to explore, gather and sort the information into useful material.  

Using the process of exploration, gathering and sorting create a reflections page in your strategies journal (SMASH book) of those things that you found to be significant is similar to “kicking the tires” of your car before setting out on the road.  Becoming familiar with the quirks of a vehicle before you take a long trip, (or a short one), allows you to enjoy the ride by reducing perceived risk making the journey more enjoyable and less stressful. In life, understanding how you process events and sort information will help you to create objectives, strategies and tactics to meet your goals with greater success, less stress, and enjoy the journey.

As the mind becomes increasingly still there is a temptation to fill it with new thoughts. Take a moment to let the system rest and reach beyond your perceived limits to retrieve inspiration.  Listen to the breath of the body and the rhythm of the heart as your mind and body settles in and adjusts to the stillness.  Consider the quiet to be the gift of peace to the whole soul offering it with gratitude for a job well done. As inspiration reveals it’s self the imagination will expand it into a dream. Follow the dream and expand it in all directions until you reach the boundaries of the dream, and then push it out even more.  Experience the dream in as much detail as possible, interacting with the dream with all of the senses.  Deepening the experience sends the mind and body to the fringe of reality where it will return with endless possibilities from which to realize the potential of the dream. Record this information in your strategies journal in vivid detail.

Sort the information you have brought back from the dream into categories, such as;

1. Center/ Spirituality/ Self
2. Partnerships/Love
3. Creations/ Children/Homemaking
4. Travel/ Service/ Declarations
5. Work/ Career/ Activity
6. Information/ Knowledge/ Self-Cultivation/ Culture
7. Health/ Money/ Traditions/ Habits
8. Wealth/ Abundance/ Distribution/ Growth
9. Personal Power/ Security/ Longevity/ Integrity. 

This is a springboard list to identify objectives, build strategies and implement tactics that will move you to realize the dream. 

 

Emotion Flashcards for Grownups

Part 1: Identify

Emotional intelligence is an important aspect to the evolution of your inner rockstar. Emotional intelligence or EI is not about being happy or sad but what you do when you are happy or sad and how you transition from emotion to emotion. Webster’s New World Dictionary describes intelligence as, “a) ability to learn or understand from experience: ability to acquire and retain knowledge; mental ability, b) use of the faculty of reason in solving problems, directing conduct, c)measured success in using these abilities.”   According to PsychologyToday.com Dr. John D Mayer emotional intelligence is awareness of how we get from one emotion to another and how choose to get in and out of emotions.  Dan Goleman, in his article, “Are Women More Emotionally Intelligent than Men?” says, “Emotional Intelligence has four parts: self-awareness, managing our emotions, empathy, and social skill.”

Emotional Intelligence is about actions taken upon an emotional event.  Successful men and women are equally emotionally intelligence contrary to popular opinion. There are many undefined human emotions. Experts have created a short list of 23 emotions that is seemingly applicable, easy to identify with and to use.

·         Joy/ Knowledge/ Empowerment	·         Contentment	·         Doubt	·         Hatred/ Rage
·         Passion	·         Boredom	·         Worry	·         Jealousy
·         Enthusiasm/ Eagerness/ Happiness	·         Pessimism	·         Blame	·         Insecurity/ Guilt
·         Positive Expectations/ Belief	·         Frustration/ Irritation/ Impatience	·         Discouragement	·         Unworthiness
·         Optimism	·         Overwhelmed	·         Anger	·         Fear/ Grief/ Depression/ Despair / Powerlessness
·         Hopefulness	·         Disappointment	·         Revenge

Proficiency in emotional control comes from practice like learning to drive a car. Remember learning to read with flashcards? You learned to identify a car by its illustrated picture symbol on the flashcard with the letters c-a-r in bold type beneath it. Each time you rode in a car you were reminded of this symbol word connection. After what probably seemed like an eternity you were able to take driver’s education. With practice in simulators and on the road you learned how to drive. The challenges of learning the visual landmarks that identified our route home, to school, or your favorite hangout was overcome in time. It was only a matter of time before you became proficient in our driving skills and could successfully drive while thinking about other things besides the mechanics of driving. Emotional intelligence comes with practice and with practice comes proficiency. After a short while new emotional connections and desired responses to events will become automatic.

The key is to slow the process down enough to identify with each emotion. People move through several emotions at a time as they sort an event. Reading the table from top to bottom beginning with the left column we see joy at the top of the emotional range and fear as the last category on the list.

Emotional Intelligence can be improved in three easy steps.

1.     Notice how you are feeling right now.

2.     Identify a feel that you desire more than the one you are currently feeling.

3.     Remember a time when you felt the desired feeling or imagine what it would feel like and soak in as much detail as you can paying close attention to the details. Remain in the desired feeling as long as possible as often as possible until it has become your current feeling.

Emotions can be a guide to how to evaluate events and empower our choices about how we respond. Just like flashcards are effective in learning how to read and understand our world through language; emotional awareness is effective in learning how to use our emotions as a guide to understanding our responses to events.

 

Related PsychologyToday.com Links:

What Emotional Intelligence is and is not, http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201111/what-is-your-emotional-iq/what-emotional-intelligence-is-and-is-not

Are Women More Emotionally Intelligent Than Men? http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201111/emotional-intelligence/are-women-more-emotionally-intelligent-men

What is Your Emotional Intelligence? http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201111/what-is-your-emotional-iq/which-you-which-intelligence

 

 

Emotion Flashcards for Grownups

Part 1: Identify

Emotional intelligence is an important aspect to the evolution of your inner rockstar. Emotional intelligence or EI is not about being happy or sad but what you do when you are happy or sad and how you transition from emotion to emotion. Webster’s New World Dictionary describes intelligence as, “a) ability to learn or understand from experience: ability to acquire and retain knowledge; mental ability, b) use of the faculty of reason in solving problems, directing conduct, c)measured success in using these abilities.”   According to PsychologyToday.com Dr. John D Mayer emotional intelligence is awareness of how we get from one emotion to another and how choose to get in and out of emotions.  Dan Goleman, in his article, “Are Women More Emotionally Intelligent than Men?” says, “Emotional Intelligence has four parts: self-awareness, managing our emotions, empathy, and social skill.”

Emotional Intelligence is about actions taken upon an emotional event.  Successful men and women are equally emotionally intelligence contrary to popular opinion. There are many undefined human emotions. Experts have created a short list of 23 emotions that is seemingly applicable, easy to identify with and to use.

·         Joy/ Knowledge/ Empowerment	·         Contentment	·         Doubt	·         Hatred/ Rage
·         Passion	·         Boredom	·         Worry	·         Jealousy
·         Enthusiasm/ Eagerness/ Happiness	·         Pessimism	·         Blame	·         Insecurity/ Guilt
·         Positive Expectations/ Belief	·         Frustration/ Irritation/ Impatience	·         Discouragement	·         Unworthiness
·         Optimism	·         Overwhelmed	·         Anger	·         Fear/ Grief/ Depression/ Despair / Powerlessness
·         Hopefulness	·         Disappointment	·         Revenge

Proficiency in emotional control comes from practice like learning to drive a car. Remember learning to read with flashcards? You learned to identify a car by its illustrated picture symbol on the flashcard with the letters c-a-r in bold type beneath it. Each time you rode in a car you were reminded of this symbol word connection. After what probably seemed like an eternity you were able to take driver’s education. With practice in simulators and on the road you learned how to drive. The challenges of learning the visual landmarks that identified our route home, to school, or your favorite hangout was overcome in time. It was only a matter of time before you became proficient in our driving skills and could successfully drive while thinking about other things besides the mechanics of driving. Emotional intelligence comes with practice and with practice comes proficiency. After a short while new emotional connections and desired responses to events will become automatic.

The key is to slow the process down enough to identify with each emotion. People move through several emotions at a time as they sort an event. Reading the table from top to bottom beginning with the left column we see joy at the top of the emotional range and fear as the last category on the list. Emotional Intelligence can be improved in three easy steps.

1.     Notice how you are feeling right now.

2.     Identify a feel that you desire more than the one you are currently feeling.

3.     Remember a time when you felt the desired feeling or imagine what it would feel like and soak in as much detail as you can paying close attention to the details. Remain in the desired feeling as long as possible as often as possible until it has become your current feeling.

Emotions can be a guide to how to evaluate events and empower our choices about how we respond. Just like flashcards are effective in learning how to read and understand our world through language; emotional awareness is effective in learning how to use our emotions as a guide to understanding our responses to events.

 

Related PsychologyToday.com Links:

What Emotional Intelligence is and is not, http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201111/what-is-your-emotional-iq/what-emotional-intelligence-is-and-is-not

Are Women More Emotionally Intelligent Than Men? http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201111/emotional-intelligence/are-women-more-emotionally-intelligent-men

What is Your Emotional Intelligence? http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201111/what-is-your-emotional-iq/which-you-which-intelligence

Live Life with Passion #passion #life

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy a quickening tht is translated through you into action; and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. you must keep that channel open. it is not for you to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions, it is for you to keep it yours, clearly and directly." --- Martha Graham

 

6 Steps Toward A Difference Only You Can Make #charity #volunteerism

iVolunteer Video from iVolunteer on Vimeo.

This post began to take shape after I read a couple of articles I found in my twitterfeed, SocialEdge"Right brain or left brain?" http://htl.li/6UqPG and 'The value of water in Mali'  http://bit.ly/qgaTdF  by CharityWater. I have a personal connection to Mali, West Africa and am always watchful of new information on assistance for the country. I am also interested in the way people quantify the predicted results and reasons for what they do. These two articles stirred up a particular passion I have about how we create change in our world on a local and global level.

At the beginning of LYFE Empowered 2.0, February 2011 my objective was to live big to give big.  I am an advocate of volunteerism and have been a volunteer for many years. When I was raising my children I had the opportunity to be on several committees in my community.I was involved on a city, school, and neighborhood level engaged in various ways that brought value to my community.

Having my fingers in so many pies I found that I was also engaged in conversations with the curious and the furious everywhere I went. I indulged the curious and to the furious I would often ask."When can I pick you up on Tuesday for the next City Council meeting?" or, "I have several places I could use you, can I put you down as a volunteer?" These questions often closed the conversation quickly and rarely did I ever see anyone at a City Council meeting or recruit a new volunteer. 

It is always easier to complain than it is to dig in and possibly make a change..... or is it?

How do you begin to make the change that only you can make? It is simple. The biggest changes begin close to home. Schools, local organization, charities, and communities are always looking for people interested in trading a little time to make a small difference. Every bit counts.

1. What are you passionate about? 
2. Where are you already spending the most time? Work, School, Church, Government Offices, Parks or recreation outlets?
3. Where do you see opportunity for the most improvement?
4. What are three things you can do in the next seven days that will move you closer to having an impact on this environment? Consider your resources; who, what, and where. Who do you people you know? What do you have to give? What resources do you have in the area where you would like to see the change? 
5. On a scale of one to ten, rank these three things based upon how important they are for you to complete. If any of them fall below a five, re-evaluate your tactics. 
6. Take action on your plan. Make the time, the calls, and put the resources together that will move you closer to accomplishing your objective.

And so, with the season of giving in full swing and the time for a new year's resolution right around the corner, I encourage and challenge you to consider these things and how you will make a the difference only you can make.

Live Big to Give Big,

Elle

 

Resources to get you started: (google is a beautiful thing)

www.handsonnetwork.org/

www.volunteerguide.org

www.volunteermatch.org/

www.crossculturalsolutions.org

www.serve.gov/

www.getinvolved.gov/

www.womenow.org